Hey ladies, welcome back to the show for our health tip Tuesday. Today, we are going to continue the conversation about self-care and really diving into, you know, the different kinds of self-care last week. I did an episode talking about what constitutes self-care, but I think in doing that, it’s very confusing to me. And I don’t know if it’s confusing to you too, to really establish what self-care is. You know, I think the basic definition of self-care according to the dictionary is that it’s to care for oneself and the act of attending to one’s physical or, or mental health. When we talk about self-care, I feel like there are some things that seem really easy to do with self-care and there’s other parts of self-care that are a lot harder to do. For me, it’s much easier to focus on the easy things, because it doesn’t require as much mental and emotional energy for me to do it.
So I don’t know if that’s something that, that you find yourself doing to, you know, I started to really dig into this when I’m doing this series to try to figure out, is there a different kinds of self-care because remember I’m not a mental health professional, so this is new to me too. And so, what I found out there was all of these things and all of these categories of self-care, but there were so many of them and they vary. To make it simple for this episode, I’m going to talk about self-care. That’s comfortable and self-care that’s uncomfortable. The comfortable self-care is the things that are easier to do, and the uncomfortable soft care is things that is a little bit harder for us to do. I found words to, you know, talk about uncomfortable self-care, such as emotional self-care, mental self-care or psychological self-care.
And honestly, I don’t know what, what constitute what, so I’m just going to talk about what’s the easier self-care and what’s the more comfortable self-care. And then what ends up being a little bit more uncomfortable? So, you know, when we talk about self-care, which we talked about last week, especially when we’re talking about the easy or the comfortable self-care, I think tends to be some of the things that we all think about when it comes to self-care. These are the things that, like, we don’t have to probably put a lot of mental thoughts into doing, right? So this could be, you know, manicures and pedicures and massages those two right there. Like sure. You put some thought into it, but you’re a little, probably more passive because you can just let the, you can just reap the benefits, right? You can just sit there during those sessions and just be like, okay, let me release all this.
I’m taking care of myself. You know, other like more comfortable self-care would be exercising, going for a walk, eating foods that really nourish your body, or making sure that you’re eating things that are going to give your body and fuel your body the way it needs to. And then another more comfortable form of self-care would be like taking vacations. Right? For all of these, in my opinion, anyway, these more comfortable ways of self-care, they might be something that you’ve been doing your whole life at some, you know, at some points you’ve maybe gotten a manicure or pedicure you’ve gotten your nails on, or you’ve just done something that feels a little bit more comfortable to you. And it doesn’t really feel like it’s a lot of work to do it. Right. But then as I started researching all of this information about self-care, I felt like I came upon this like uncomfortable, this uncomfortable category of self-care.
And I don’t know what the name of it really is. Remember, I’m not a mental health professional, but I found names that defined this uncomfortable category, such as emotional self-care or mental self-care or psychological self-care. But I wanted to talk a little bit about this today because I think that this is a category that I think is unfamiliar to a lot of us. Unless you’re being really, you know, you’re working on something, you know, you’re working with a mental health professional, or maybe you’re really in tune with your feelings and you work towards, you know, being in touch with your emotional wellbeing every day. I think for most people, it’s very hard to get to this point that we’re taking care of ourselves in this way. Why I think it’s important to talk about these things is because, you know, we can do the comfortable self-care things, right.
But I think ultimately, it’s these uncomfortable self-care ideas that really get us to where we want to be in the long term. And these are really the things that are going to help us over time, get to a place that we are more connected to who we are. And this is just my belief. And there might be research out there from a mental health professional that says differently, but this is what I think. So when we talk about this, like uncomfortable soft Carol, what, what does it mean? Or what are some categories or what are some things that, that this could mean? Well, I think that it’s kind of like those things that, that are hard for us to do. So that may mean receiving compliments. That’s a really big one. I, myself, I have a very hard time with that. I’m not sure if you do.
This is something that is uncomfortable for you, right? Or maybe uncomfortable for you. It could be acknowledging any self-talk that you have that’s negative and then challenging it. This could be establishing and maintaining boundaries with people who are boundary breakers, and that will, you know, interfere with, what’s going to make you feel connected to who you are. This could mean saying no to something that you can’t possibly squeeze into your already hectic schedule. But knowing that in saying no to that particular thing, you were saying yes to yourself and saying yes, that you’re going to make yourself a priority. It could be forgiving yourself for any mistakes that you feel like you made and forgiving others as well. Some of these uncomfortable self-care could also be like, realizing that you’re not perfect. And then another example would be finding a support system with, and that includes people that, you know, we’re really going to support you and are going to allow you to be who you are at your core and not having to, you know, be with people who aren’t going to do that are not going to be, you know, are not going to have your best interests at heart.
And really, I think uncomfortable self-care would be having this like radical self-acceptance and loving yourself with this self-acceptance for who you are in this exact moment without having any judgment. So these in my opinion are much harder to do than going out and getting them out of your petty, but are just as important because if not really, they’re probably the more important things to do, but they’re harder to do so it might not be something that we really want to do because they’re so hard. And because it takes a lot of practice because a lot of us have these, like, you know, these ideas about ourselves and these routines and habits and emotional things that we’ve been doing for most of our life. And so they, they may take a little bit more time to, you know, decipher and to kind of, you know, pull apart.
These are the things that are really important, but this is when you may need more support and you may need a mental health professional to kind of help you through that. I wanted to clarify a little bit about self-care. And I hope that I was able to do that when we talk about the easy self-care or the comfortable self-care versus the uncomfortable self-care. And knowing that both of these are important, and they both probably serve a place in our lives, but, you know, just knowing that whatever is going to help you feel more reconnected, more rejuvenated and more in touch with who you are, is the goal. You may have to deal with both, some comfortable forms of self-care and uncomfortable forms of self-care in order to get to that space. And you may even require a health professional to help you through that.
But overall, I want to remind you that any kind of self-care that you’re doing is, is wonderful because ultimately you’re never going to be able to reach that health goal, in my opinion unless you start to make yourself a priority and make self-care a priority, we can talk all about intuitive eating and exercising and creating behavior change. But ultimately, I think you need to have, you need to take care of yourself in order to get to a place that you make that happen. If you’re constantly stressed and saying yes to everything, it’s going to be really hard for you to then take the time, to make yourself a priority and to squeeze in, you know, meal planning or exercising, or the very things that are going to get you to your overall goal of health that you want to achieve. Self-care and changing your behavior are going to be really important when it comes to making the health changes that you really want.
I want to remind you that, you know, all of this self-care and making yourself a priority, it’s not an impossibility, but it does require a tiny, small change that’s practiced consistently to achieve and get to the bigger goal of what you want, whatever that may be. And I want to remind you that it’s not about being perfect because nothing is perfect and perfect doesn’t exist, but it’s about being 1% better each day. So even if you take a little tiny bit out of your day to day and you listen to this podcast, maybe that’s maybe that’s your self-care for the day, or maybe then tomorrow you go in, you write three things that you’re grateful for, or you, you know, take a deep breath when you’re stressed. Maybe that’s where you start. And then over time as you practice that more, you become more in tune with how you’re feeling.
I know you’ve all heard. The old thing that the most important relationship is the one that we have with ourselves and that, you know, you can’t fuel from an empty vessel, right? So this is just a reminder to you that however you choose to do self-care, as long as you start to make it a priority, and you see that it’s something that’s important for your life in order to get to the goals that you need. You know, self-care is important, so it will not always be easy. And, and again, at the beginning it might be uncomfortable, but I’m here to give you permission to do that. In my next episode, I’m going to really talk about some of the excuses that we make when it comes to self-care. So I hope you listen to that because I think it will actually be really helpful for a lot of people to do that because don’t, we all make excuses.
Until then I invite you to join my free Facebook group, whole health empowerment project. It is a very small group that I’m just starting. And I really want to have a place where women and men too, if you feel compelled to just have a space where you feel safe and that people are talking real on the internet and just in social media in general, I feel like there’s all of this, like this, like fake, like everything is so easy and that it’s not hard. And I, and, and I just want you to have a space where you feel like that you’re safe to really talk about what’s truly going on. Maybe that’s really good, or maybe, maybe that’s to celebrate successes, but it could also be that you’re having some challenges. So I really want to create this community that you feel like you belong and that you can express how you feel, and we can all kind of support each other. So, you know, head on over to Facebook and join that group, whole health empowerment project. And I will see you guys back here next week, so be kind to yourself and be kind to your body and just be kind in general. I’ll see you here next week.
self-care worksheet (brown.edu)
Episode 4: Self – Care doesn’t have to be so hard with Dr. Nancy Maguire
Episode 48: Reconnecting the busy mind! All things meditation! What it is, how it benefits you, and how to get started with Jennifer Boileau
Come find me at: Home – Tricia Stefankiewicz (triciard.com)
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