By: Tricia Stefankiewicz
Mammas if you are feeling burnt out, exhausted, fearful, and stressed this is the episode for you. We are going to talk about 4 ways to refill your cup during this season.
Quote: Remember to take care of yourself, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
As women and mamas, we give so much to others that it may seem hard to carve out some time to take care of yourself too! For so many of us, this season brings up struggles and hard emotions that are difficult to manage. We give so much to others and forget to give to ourselves too. We get bogged down in so many other things. Whether it is the pressure of having a “perfect” holiday filled with tasks like making cookies, seeing the holiday lights, visiting Santa, all of which seem perfect in theory but much more of a hassle and imperfect than we imagine it would be. Many of us carry this feeling of perfectionism around with us but only gets worsened by the influence of social media and the holiday season. Maybe you are feeling the pressure of the financial hardship of wanting to do and give your kids everything they want and desire. You know that money is tight, but you really want to give your kids the best, because they never ask for anything or because you want their holiday to be better than yours was. You may be trying to change the way your holidays were or maybe it’s because you feel like it is your responsibility as being the perfect parents. During this time, so many of us are feeling the sadness of not being able to spend time with family, loss of someone you love, or divorce. You may be exhausted from the extended virtual schooling and work from home schedule only to now be strewn into the holidays season of feeling like you need to keep entertaining your kids. Does any of this sound familiar or resonate to you?
Mammas let’s celebrate you Giving yourself what you deserve for the holidays, the gift of taking time for yourself and taking care of yourself, managing your stress so that you can be in the moment and enjoy the time you are spending with your family.
How can you refill your cup and enjoy the holidays?
Realize, there is no such thing as the “PERFECT” holiday. Despite what social media tells us, there is not a family that is more perfect than your own. If you are feeling the pressure of wanting something more perfect, get off social media. Put your phone away and spend time with your family. Look at what your kids thinks is perfect and do that. Maybe a perfect holiday with them is staying in your jammies all day, eating donuts, and playing with their toys. And know that screaming and crying and craziness is all part of the holiday and unfortunately does not stop during this time because that is life, it’s messy and imperfect. If you feel like you are comparing your traditions, gifts, or challenging the myth of what a good parent does or doesn’t’ do, – stay off social media if that is going to challenge your belief of what a good parent is/ or does.
You don’t have to give your kids everything they ask for. This is a hard one for many of us. Many of us keep buying things even if we can’t afford it so that we feel like we are doing everything to be the best parents to our kids. But this is more about us than it is about them.
Decide how who you really need to buy presents for and make a budget. It’s ok if you can’t spend as much this year as you have in the past. Stick to the budget. Can devote time to things you care about.
Can explore the four- gift idea for Christmas.
With the 4-gift rule, your kids get four gifts for Christmas:
Something you want,
Something you need,
Something to wear,
Something to read.
Used for older kids who want presents that cost more than we have, parents of multiple children, or doing a particularly financially difficult year.
Embrace the sadness, loneliness that comes with the season. Don’t ignore it. Do things that will help you move through the emotion. Hot shower, walk, good food, drinking enough water, destressing by journaling the hard stuff, catching up with an old friend, reading a good book, getting a nap in during the day or extra sleep at night. Become aware of the feelings that may trigger the stress and difficult emotions.
Give yourself something that you have wanted/that you deserve. I know many of you are so busy trying to buy “stuff” for our kiddos that we forget to pay attention to our own needs to. Is there a gift you can give to yourself to remind you of what you want for your life and to help achieve your dreams? Is there a course you always wanted to take but always thought it was too expensive? Or is there a planer that you love that can help you achieve your goals? And if money is tight, do you have someone who can watch the kids for an hour a week to do something you love.
What really matters is that you and your family are feeling loved and letting go of the things that interfere with that. It is a choice you make every day to laugh, slow down, be in the moment, participate in the memories and be present. Don’t give too much that you can’t take care of the imperfect woman you are. Take care of her and be kind to her. Have a great holiday.